School

Dear readers (that basically mean me) ... They say that a woman is at her prettiest at her own wedding, and that is also the day where every girl became a princess ( and basically the ultimate ruler of the wedding universe). So when is a man most glorious moment? we all know that he is pretty much the extra in the wedding, he is only there because we need at least two for a marriage (otherwise there will be limitless number of weddings) When I think about the most glorious moment in a man life, it is not when he got promoted, or when he became rich (face it, its never enough for a man) or even when he goes around calling everyone his favourite. I think the most glorious moment of a man life, lies when he tries his best and give his all. The moment in which he pours his all and focus, he transcends the reality into a spiritual reality, where his very soul clashes and struggle against all adversity. This is it. This is the sole moment, where your reality and dreams meet, where you get a chance for once in life to make it meaningful. That is the moment of glory. And that is something i have been searching for in my life, finding something important and striking for it. No worries, I still havent found it yet.

Recently in Edinburgh, I rediscover the difficulty I had when i tried to adjust to the pace in NUS. The difficulty in following and understanding the three honors modules out of a sudden. Not to mentioned (which i am about to mention), the several masters students who seem to be everywhere in the three modules and knowing everything. I have to admit, my traditional methods in studying doesnt really seem to work here. I came back and forth classes without learning anything (or understanding anything much at all) Am i doom to fail here? I needed an explanation. So i started to think about what to do next and how to make sense of it. To keep it short, i decided that its not because that they are so advanced that I couldnt keep up with them, but rather, its my expectation of them are so high that they cant keep up with my expectations. I keep thinking everything that they say must be a revelation! I mean they are a better university in terms of ranking, they are either honors or master students, I thought they will be beyond me. But the truth is they are learning too, they dont have everything figured out.... they too asked general questions and not everything they say must be an enlightenment. So i decided I cannot falter here thinking that they will be great, because if I can live past this, all that i believed in, all that i used to encourage other people will be falsified. This is who I am and who i want to be and who I hope to be.

It is then, i discovered something. There is no such thing as a singular moment of glory. Everyday when u give it all to handle all such of problem, no matter how big or small a problem, you are focusing. There is no single moment or single day, all there are is honest people doing honest work everyday, believing in yourself and staying on as who you believed you are. Life is a constant struggle and constant magic. And everyday, no matter how small it is, we shine, just like when you really love someone, she wont just be pretty on the wedding day.