Change

Maybe its just me, but everyday i feel a need to change, to improve, to make a difference. It seems that my very legitimacy in life itself lies in my ability to effect a change and progress is the only key to survivability. It almost seems as if there is an eventuality in my life and everything i am doing is towards it. Some may called it corporate success or self actualization. What then is the eventuality in my life, what am i working towards? I know i have none... at least not consciously aware. But everyday i force myself to be awake, i ask myself to do work. It is almost as if my whole body, mind and very fabric of soul is gear towards change. If i dont, maybe that others would ? maybe i am follow the grand life design set forth by the society, by the culture, by everyone but me. Maybe there is a grand secret to everyone else but me. Someone once said "to change for others it to lie to yourself", but does the truth really worth it?